She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
