Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You took a bar mat shot.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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