This is not my ceiling
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
