I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
