At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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