a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
