everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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