this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
