I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
