dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
