I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i believe in u and ur pee
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