he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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