hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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