whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
