He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
