You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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