I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize