Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
