She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
