sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
