Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
