Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
