You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Everything about him screamed your future.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You're a waste of cheezeits
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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