I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
