i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize