he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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