i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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