Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
how does that bad decision feel?
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