So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
