Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
