i think i have herpe
just one?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We're too hungover to prance.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
