I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
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