you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
