I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
