Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
