Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
