thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
