You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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