I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
