I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
