Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
