pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
