If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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