Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
