And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
