good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
