i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
