There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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