i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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