She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
