So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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