I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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