my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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