she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
