I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
