so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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