I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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