It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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