Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
