I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
be right there i have to get my cape
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
