Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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