oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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