sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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