There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
